Coping with Infertility

Each individual experiences infertility in her or his own unique and valid way. While no one can predict one person's reaction to a diagnosis or treatment recommendation, many have similar reactions to this life-changing event.

Emotional/psychological experiences may include:

• feelings of loss of control are common and sometimes uncomfortable;
• the emotional roller coaster of hope and despair, either with each treatment or on a monthly basis;
• feelings of failure and low self-esteem are normal; as are feeling of guilt, blame, shame and embarrassment;
• the process erodes and consumes time and energy;
• financial issues - loss of other dreams in exchange for treatment;
• changes within your marriage - pull together or apart - infertility brings most couples closer together; but changes in intimacy   are often associated with treatment regimens;
• impact on employment and performance at work
• feelings of injustice are reality based;

Suggestions for coping more effectively:

• begin/continue treatment with an open mind and a positive attitude - never say never!
• realize that you must live and work in the fertile world, and manage your relationships with family members and friends;
• develop a stress management program - simplify!
• Confide in select friends and family members;
• Periodically reexamine your options:
• consider joining a support group, no one understands your feelings better than others who have experienced infertility;
• grieve your losses - there are many for some people;engage in individual or couples therapy;if your infertility is secondary, try to renew your relationship with your child;
• be gentle with yourself; avoid uncomfortable social situations - holidays, baby showers, certain family gatherings; be "out of town"; buy gift certificates and mail them with your negative rsvp;

It is important to maintain the perspective that treatment is a means to an end, and to realize that you are very likely to become a parent someday soon.